Greatest Sports Memory
Amy Breckin
Professor Bishop
Com. 305-001
April 8, 2007
Greatest Sports Memory
I have a memorable sports moment that I always share every time I am asked about a sports memory. Everyone in my family and all of my friends are tired of hearing this story, and when I begin to tell it, I get the “infamous eye roll” from everyone that has heard it before.
When I was younger, I was a huge Philadelphia Flyers fan. I thought that Eric Lindros was God and that the Flyers were unstoppable. I was about 12 years old when my dad took me to a Flyers game. It was great, I had been to games before so I knew what to expect, and I was so excited to be going again. When we arrived, the Flyers were doing their pre-game skate, and my dad and I went down to the lower level to watch. After watching for a few moments, a puck came up over the glass, and I caught it. I thought that was the best thing that could ever happen. I thought that even though it was just a practice puck, it did not matter because I would still be able to take it into school and show it off to my friends. Little did I know that my night at the Flyers game would get even better.
My dad and I soon found our way to our seats for the start of the game. Only adding to my excitement was the fact that our seats were the best in the house. I was two rows from the ice and right next to the tunnel where the players enter and exit their locker room. I was in Flyers’ heaven! The game progressed rapidly and the Flyers were playing well against the Tampa Lightning. I was in awe of my surroundings, especially being that close to Eric Lindros and the rest of the team. I was watching the game intently and I remember looking up for a second and my dad yelling, “look out!” A puck traveled over the glass and hit me in the eye. I was stunned, and it hurt really bad. I could feel my eye feeling like it was on fire and swelling. I started to cry, and I looked up and saw myself on the replay screen. I then looked down and saw the players on the Flyers’ bench facing me and staring. I was embarrassed and all my dad kept saying is “are you bleeding?” He was also hoping that my mom did not catch the game that night because he knew he would be in trouble when we got home.
The puck that hit me fell into the tunnel and the Flyers trainer, Turk gave it to me and also gave me a bag of ice. I got a game puck and a practice puck all in one night. After the end of the period, some of the players made comments to me as they proceeded to the locker room. John LeClair asked me if I was okay. Eric Lindros told me to “shake it off.” Pat Falloon told me that I was “one of the boys now.” That was the greatest night of my life. My eye was swore for a few days, but I had an awesome story to tell everyone at school the next day, and I also had a great souvenir.
1 Comments:
Amy:
Wow - great stuff. My jaw dropped as you described what happened, both because I wish I had an experience like that when I was 12, and because I was worried about your eye.
A few tweaks in an otherwise great story:
First, you have to tell us who "Turk" is - I think I remember his name, but it's essential to name all of the folks you discuss in a story.
How did you find your way to the tunnel to get the puck back from Turk?
I would shorten the sentence in the previous graph that starts, "I then looked down..." It should read "saw the players on the Flyers' bench staring at me."
Give us a little more description than "really bad." What does that mean? I know it's tough to recall something that happened some time back in great detail, but it gives the reader a clearer picture of events.
Finally, I would start the piece with the second paragraph - it's a more compelling lead. I would use the first paragraph at the end of the story, or sprinkle the sentences where appropriate in the body of the piece. What's important are you and the Flyers, and Lindros, and the puck.
Great stuff - two points.
Are you still a Flyers fan? Keep your chin up; they'll be drafting second in June.
12:39 PM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home