Mini Project #7

No Girls Allowed

By: Amy Breckin

Every Thanksgiving the Breckin clan hosts a football game on the front lawn of their home on North Fork Road. The game used to be uncles vs. nephews, but now that the uncles are suffering from years of injuries, they have been given bench-warmer status. There’s Uncle Tommy with the bad back, Uncle Timmy with the bad shoulder, and Uncle Paul with the bad knee. In order to continue the tradition, the nephews had to finally allow the nieces to play.

It was always the first rule about Thanksgiving football, the girls could watch, but they were never allowed to play. After all, the boys would say that football is too rough for girls. Did that discourage the girls? Yes. Did that make them dislike the game of football? Of course not. Just as cousin Brittany used to say, “We’ll get our chance.” Along with playing football every Thanksgiving, the Breckin clan also bleeds Philadelphia Eagles green, so football is cherished by all. The one thing that the boys never thought about is when the girls finally grew up and were needed to keep the game tradition going.

The game that was always uncles vs. nephews, now became nephews vs. nieces, or boy cousins vs. girl cousins. The tradition changed. It had to; otherwise there would be no more football game on Thanksgiving Day. The true test came on the first Thanksgiving in 2004 when the girls were first allowed to play. Everyone thought that the boys would crush the girls literally and figuratively. When the girls rushed out of the house in their pink custom-made sweatshirts labeled “Pink Ladies” and black paint under their eyes, the boys knew that they meant business.

Every year that the girls were not allowed to play, they watched and studied the boys. They learned that Christopher goes to his left, that Russell will trip over his own two feet, and that Jerry will run out of gas after the first three plays. The girls capitalized on this, and of course age always works to a person’s advantage. The boys are all in the thirties now, and the girls are in their twenties and teens.

The past three Thanksgiving Day games, the girls have crushed the boys with their speed, accuracy in passing, and smooth moves. Ever wonder if that saying about what goes around comes around? The boys never let the girls play, they eventually had to let them play, and now they are losing every year to a bunch of make-up and pink sweatshirt wearing girls. Some might suggest that karma did play a role in this turn of events.

It is all in good fun however. The rest of the year is emails sent back and forth about who will win the game this year, not to mention the gag gifts at the family Christmas party, and the trash-talking. If anything is to be learned from this experience it should be to never underestimate a girl, and do what mom always said, “Let everyone play, and play nice.”